How to Find a Girlfriend/Boyfriend in Britain. Part 1

What is traditionally the way of approaching someone that you find attractive in your England?


If any of your answers include the words ‘shouting’, ‘camel’, ‘from behind’, ‘with a stick’ (SP: palo IT: bastone) ‘with eight friends’ or ‘in a BMW convertible’, you will have trouble finding a partner (SP: pareja IT: compagno) in England.

You will probably be an enormous hit (SP: exito IT: successo) in Scotland or Wales.


The fact that most women who come to England, find the men polite (SP: educado IT: educato) on meeting them, say one of two things:

First, that we are, as people say, a nation of gentlemen who respect women, and know how to approach them; or second, that men from other countries simply lack (SP: faltar IT: mancare) subtlety and technique in the art of romance.


Latin America men don’t lack subtlety and technique in the art of romance with their lovers, especially when the wife is at home on the other side of town.

One of their few contributions to the English language has been machismo.

The French gave us chauvinism and menage e trois. Say no more.

Germans are usually too busy making porno films to worry about romance.

Norwegians are too drunk (SP: borracho IT: ubriacoto remember how to talk, not to mention chat up.

In the Greek language there is an expression for ‘a man living in peace and harmony with a companion’. The man is, of course, a shepherd. (SP: pastor IT: pastore.)


More tomorrow!

ZakWashington drunk in the pub with his students

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